We add to our resilience building tools here and focus on what we do want…because then we’ll get that, right?
So when building resilience, what helps the most?
We’ve already discussed the importance of knowing thyself in being able to bounce back from challenges.
When we know ourselves, our choices become so much easier to make and so does the acceptance of their consequences. And this is key to building resilience and living a happy life.
You see, because I know I LOVE variety, adventure, new places and experiences, I know I will feel happier in the presence of new things and new adventures, even if they come with stressful challenges.
Taking action – or sometimes the conscious act of choosing not to act – is also key to building resilience.
Taking action is the all important part of building resilience that comes after the falling down part, you know?
It’s the getting up again part!
And this IS resilience in a nutshell.
When we know ourselves and what we value, we feel confident and empowered to take action, to consciously choose our next steps along the path of life.
Consciously choosing is key to building resilience.
As is its buddy – taking responsibility.
When we take responsibility for how we arrived where we are, we own it.
It’s all ours.
No one put a gun to our head now did they?
And believe it or not, owning it sets us free.
Free to change it…if we wish.
Because we are responsible for it, we have the power to change it.
Whenever we blame and point the finger, we give away our power, giving responsibility for our life to something outside of ourselves.
This makes us reliant on that external thing to change our life.
And that’s a very disempowering position to put ourselves in; not having the power to change our own life.
Another strategy for building resilience we’ve discussed is avoiding should.
Because we are berating ourselves when we are using should.
Regret is the emotion should engenders within us.
And depression is what we are doing when we are should-ing.
Because when we are should-ing, we are living in the past.
Should stops us being present, stops us being resourceful when we need to be.
Should is a complete waste of precious energy when trying to recover from difficulties; when building resilience.
Should is a stick we use to beat ourselves and must be avoided when living an effective and satisfying life.
So then, when building resilience, what helps the most?
Sticking to the facts!
During Superman and my travails trying to move to New Zealand – read that wild story here – we would have experienced far more stress and done much more anxiety and depression than we did, if we hadn’t stuck to the facts.
The dang shipping company removalists should have arrived and finished when they said they would so we didn’t have to ask the cleaners to come back the next day.
It seems unfair that footballers’ girlfriends were permitted to jet into Queensland the day after we were turned around and told they’d miscounted hotel quarantine beds.
It would have been better had the Police who greeted us at Brisbane Airport been empowered to give compassionate exemptions to the Health Department’s snap border closure directive.
But they didn’t.
They were permitted.
And they weren’t.
And so here we are.
Dealing with the facts.
Choosing not to make a crap situation even worse by adding fantasy, should and upset.
That’s what we’ve chosen to deal with these last couple of months.
We barely had enough energy to deal with reality at times, let alone spending more of the precious stuff going off and into our heads about what could’ve or should’ve been.
When building resilience, what helps the most is sticking to the facts.
Gotta’ play the hand you’re dealt right?
Hope this stuff helps you in your life good soul.
Let me know how you go – I am always interested.
Your Life Changing Coach
GENERATIVE CHANGE is change that builds upon itself.
Offering you Life Changing Coaching ~ Online & By Phone
Like this weekly blog delivered directly to your inbox?
Yes! Click here.
Like a Complimentary Opening Session?
Yes! Click here.